PHILADELPHIA – (CT&P) – Officials say the Muslim suspect in custody for the shooting that seriously injured a Philadelphia police officer has confessed to the crime, saying he did it ‘in the name of Islam,’ because police officers enforce laws that are contrary to his faith, which is of course fucking Islam.

Commissioner Richard Ross provided that update during a news conference on Friday afternoon. He said there was no indication from the suspect, 30-year-old Edward Archer of Yeadon, that he was involved in a conspiracy, other than the same one which drives Muslim fanatics to chop off heads, blow things up, and slaughter innocents around the world on a daily basis.

Archer had pledged his allegiance to ISIS, officials say, which is weird, since the shooting supposedly had nothing to do with Islam at all.  Ross called the shooting “just your run of the mill attempted assassination of a police officer.”

At the news conference, brain-damaged Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney said the shooting had nothing to do with “being a Muslim or the Islamic faith.”

“Last night’s shooting had nothing to do with any faith,” said the mentally deficient mayor.

“It was a violent assault by a criminal who just happened to be Muslim, pledged allegiance to the Islamic State, is proud to be a jihadi, and wants to institute Sharia Law across the entire globe on penalty of death.

“I repeat, this has nothing to do with Islam. I urge all Philadelphians to stand together, preferably somewhere out of the line of fire.”

When reached for comment on the mayor’s statement noted atheist intellectual and critic of Islam Sam Harris remarked, “There’s just no cure for stupid.”